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1. Set a Clear End to Your Day – Retire

One of the most transformative changes I made was establishing a clear boundary between my day and my night. For too long, I carried the weight of my work, worries and endless to-do lists right into bed with me. It was as if my brain never got the memo that it was time to shut off. I’d lay there, tangled in thoughts about deadlines and unfinished tasks, wondering if my socks had clashed with the color of my blouse today and why I couldn’t find a font I liked for my emails. It was a nightmare and I could never find peace.

To help my mind transition from the hustle of the day to the calm of the night, I created a “retirement plan”, a bedtime ritual if you will – simple yet powerful actions that signaled to my brain it was time to shift gears. Here are a few things I incorporated into my routine:

• Relaxing Bath Time: After a long day, soaking in a warm bath became my sanctuary. I would light candles, add soothing essential oils and allow the warmth to envelop me. It was a ritual of self-care that not only relaxed my muscles but also washed away the stresses of the day.
• Cleaning the Kitchen: There’s something incredibly satisfying about tidying up my space. I made it a habit to clean the kitchen each evening, wiping down counters and loading the dishwasher. This small act not only created a serene environment for the next morning but also provided me with a sense of accomplishment, signaling to my brain that my day was complete.
• Setting a Specific Time for “Screen Down”: I established a cut-off time for screens – no more emails or social media scrolling. Instead, I would switch to calming activities like reading or listening to soft music. This simple boundary helped signal to my brain that it was time to wind down.
• Journaling My Thoughts: I started keeping a journal by my bedside. Before bed, I’d jot down my thoughts, worries and any lingering tasks for tomorrow. This practice allowed me to externalize my concerns instead of letting them swirl in my mind, creating mental space for relaxation. I put my thoughts to bed first!

By implementing these actions, I created a consistent routine that not only provided a clear end to my day but also prepared my mind and body for restful sleep.

If you’re also navigating the complexities of neurodivergence, I encourage you to explore what rituals might resonate with you. Find your own unique ways to signal that it’s time to retire from the day. Your brain deserves that transition just as much as your body does.

2. Create a Soothing Environment

Once I set that clear boundary between day and night, I realized my bedroom itself needed to be a sanctuary for rest.

Here’s the thing: I used to overlook my bedroom environment, thinking that as long as I was comfortable enough, it didn’t matter. But sensory overload doesn’t magically stop at bedtime and neither do distractions. So, I started making little tweaks to my space.

I switched to softer lighting, invested in blackout curtains and made sure my bed felt like a sanctuary. For me, even something as simple as decluttering my nightstand made a difference. Over time, my space now signals comfort and calm. It’s no longer just a place I crash at the end of the day – it’s where I actively rest.

3. Practice a Mind-Body Wind-Down

For neurodivergent women like us, sometimes our bodies and brains are on two completely different pages when it comes to sleep. Our minds can stay hyperactive even if our bodies are exhausted. That’s why a mind-body practice is crucial for my nightly wind-down.

I like to incorporate some light stretching or deep breathing exercises into my routine. It’s about sending signals to your body that it’s safe to relax. For me, it’s not just about calming my body – it’s about giving my brain permission to slow down, too. A few minutes of mindfulness can work wonders, especially if you have a brain like mine that loves to stay busy even when it’s bedtime.

4. Journal Your Thoughts

If your brain races at night (hi, fellow neurodivergent folks), journaling might be your best friend. I’ve found that when I put my thoughts on paper, they have less power over me. My brain feels less “clogged” when I get those lingering worries out of my head and into a notebook.

I don’t overthink this part – it’s not about writing a novel (although I did do exactly that one year). Sometimes it’s just a few bullet points or a quick brain dump of anything that’s on my mind. It’s a ritual that not only helps me process the day but also keeps those middle-of-the-night anxiety spirals in check.

5. Honor Your Unique Brain Chemistry

This one’s the game-changer. You see, what truly transformed my relationship with sleep was understanding my unique genetic makeup. After diving into genetic testing, I discovered that I have a slow COMT gene variant. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. It explained my increased anxiety, my struggle to handle stress effectively and my inability to wind down or sleep properly. My brain isn’t wired to just switch off at night; it struggles to process dopamine efficiently, which can leave me feeling hyperactive and anxious, especially when I’m trying to relax. This revelation empowered me to stop fighting against my body’s natural processes.

Instead of forcing myself to sleep, I began working in harmony with my brain. You see, I’m not broken, so I stopped trying to fix myself. Instead, I leaned into it. Here are five key things I implemented throughout my day to give myself the best shot at a good night’s sleep. It was a slow process, but over a short period of time, everything came together. Maybe they could help you too:

1. Mindful Nutrition: I started paying close attention to what I was eating. No more donuts for lunch, even when they were still calling my name after the morning meeting! I swapped out those sugary snacks for healthier options. Now I pack a baggie of mixed nuts in my purse instead of hitting the vending machine for a candy bar when I need a midday boost. I also learned to avoid foods that increase catechol levels, such as high-protein foods that contain amino acids like tryptophan and phenylalanine. I even invested in a hydrogenated water bottle and electrolyte flavor packs to stay hydrated without caffeine after noon, ensuring my body is supported without any stimulants disrupting my nighttime routine.These mindful choices help stabilize my energy levels and set me up for better sleep at night.
2. Time in the Sun: I made it a priority to spend time outdoors during the day. Whether it’s taking a walk during lunch or sitting on my porch with a book, soaking up sunlight not only boosted my mood but also helped regulate my circadian rhythm. I noticed that getting that sun exposure daily made me feel more balanced during the day, which ultimately helps me wind down more effectively at night.
3. Regular Movement: Incorporating gentle exercise into my daily routine became a game-changer. I found that even a 15-minute tai chi session or a quiet walk in the evening helped release built-up tension and supported my mental clarity. This movement not only lifts my spirits but also prepares my body for a restful night’s sleep.       *Please note: If you have a slow COMT variant like I do – or other genes that affect methylation, such as MTHFR – it’s important to be mindful of the type and intensity of exercise you choose. Strenuous exercise requires methylation and increases catecholamines (like dopamine and adrenaline), which can build up if your body struggles to break them down efficiently. While many people head to the gym for stress relief, if you have a slow COMT mutation, intense workouts might actually worsen your situation. For me, switching to gentler, more mindful movement like tai chi and walking has made a significant difference in my overall well-being, helping me stay balanced.
4. Mindfulness Practices: I started a morning ritual that included mindfulness meditation and deep breathing exercises – something I’d never considered before getting my test results. For some reason, it always seemed like a silly concept. And honestly, when I first started, it felt even sillier. But over time, I noticed a real difference in how my day unfolded. I no longer began the day in a state of rush. This practice set a smooth, positive tone for the day and helped me stay grounded when worries tried to creep in. And believe me, they did try. But after learning how to properly use and integrate these tools, mindfulness became something I actually looked forward to. By connecting with my breath and focusing on the present moment, (right there at my desk, or in the bathroom stall – and yes, I’ve done that more than once) I could quiet the worry, regain a sense of control and move positively on through the day. The less worry I brought home with me, the quieter the mental chatter at bedtime became.

6. Consistent Sleep Schedule:

I committed to a regular sleep schedule, going to bed and waking up at the same time each day. I realized that maintaining this consistency is crucial for my brain’s functioning and overall well-being. Coupled with my bedtime ritual, this practice lays the foundation for restful sleep. 

But the key to truly restful sleep starts long before you hit the pillow. Here’s how I prepare my brain and body for a peaceful night:

1. Disconnect Gradually – Not Abruptly:
   I used to try and power through my day until the very last second, thinking I could just flip a switch and fall asleep. Spoiler: it doesn’t work like that. Now I give myself a buffer between the chaos of the day and the calm I want at night. About an hour before bed, I start to wind down – put away the laptop, silence notifications and dim the lights. It’s like I’m telling my brain, “Hey, it’s time to slow down now.”
   The key here is not to make it feel like a punishment. If I’m feeling anxious or restless, I’ll listen to something calming or read a book. That slow transition from “on” to “off” really matters.
2. Create a Calm After-Work Routine:

   After a long day at work or finishing a tai chi class (which I manage to fit in a few times a week), I make it a point to set the tone for the rest of my evening as soon as I leave. Instead of giving in to the fast food drive-thru or grabbing something sugary to “reward” myself, I plan ahead. I pack a small, satisfying snack – like a mix of nuts or fresh fruit – to tide me over on the way home. This simple choice helps me avoid coming home famished and reaching for junk food.

   Once I’m home, I give myself time to unwind before thinking about dinner. I might take 20-30 minutes to sit quietly on the porch, surf the web and change into something comfortable. This mini-break allows me to mentally transition out of “work mode” and into a calmer state.

   For dinner, I focus on something light yet nourishing. I make sure not to eat too late, so my body has time to digest before bed. By avoiding heavy meals, I help my system stay relaxed and prepared for rest, rather than struggling with indigestion or spikes in blood sugar.

   This after-work routine ensures that I’m supporting my brain and body’s transition from the hustle of the day to the calm needed for a good night’s sleep. By making intentional, healthier choices during this time, I feel more grounded and ready to unwind for the night.

3. Make Self-Care a Daily Habit:
   As close to the same time as possible every evening, I head for a warm bath or shower. It’s one of my favorite ways to transition from the day into a more peaceful state. The warmth relaxes my muscles and signals to my brain that it’s time to wind down. I’ll often add a few drops of lavender essential oil to the water or use a calming body wash – something small but soothing to my senses.
   When I step out of the bathroom, I feel refreshed and ready to move into the next part of my evening with ease. This simple act of self-care helps me leave the stresses of the day behind.
4. Set the Scene for Sleep:
   As I’m getting ready for bed, I start to dim the lights in my room about 30 minutes before sleep. I’ve even invested in self-dimming lights to help with this! It’s a gentle reminder to my brain that nighttime is approaching. Afterward, I set the coffee maker for the morning and make sure my alarm is ready – small, routine tasks that help me feel prepared for tomorrow so I’m not worrying about it all night.
5. End the Day with Reflection:
   Before I turn off the lights, I like to do a little journaling. Nothing too intense, just a few sentences about how the day went or things I’m grateful for. This practice helps me offload any lingering thoughts or worries, so I’m not carrying them to bed with me. If I feel like my mind’s still racing, I’ll take a moment to focus on my breath, allowing any leftover stress to fade away.
   With my mind calm, I turn off the lights and give my body and brain permission to fully “retire” from the day.

By incorporating these steps into my daily routine, I’ve found that sleep no longer feels like something I have to chase. Instead, I’m silently preparing my mind and body all day long to embrace a peaceful night of rest.

Understanding your body’s needs – whether through genetic testing or simply paying attention to how you feel – is essential in finding what works for you. By honoring my unique brain chemistry and implementing these practices, I create a nurturing environment for restorative sleep.

I encourage you to explore your own unique traits and find strategies that resonate with you. Your journey toward better sleep starts with understanding your whole self – maybe clear down to your genes.

And Yes, I know your next question…

Why Not Just Pop a Sleeping Pill or Some Melatonin?

Believe me, I get it. When you’re desperate for sleep, it feels like the easiest solution is to grab a sleeping pill or take some melatonin and call it a night. Problem solved, right? I used to think that too – until I learned more about my body, my brain and my genetic makeup.

Here’s the thing: quick fixes like sleeping pills or even over-the-counter melatonin can mask the real issue. If you’re neurodivergent, especially if you have something like a COMT gene variation (like I do), these “quick fixes” can actually make things worse over time. Let me explain why.

1. Sleeping Pills Don’t Address the Root Cause

Sleeping pills might knock you out for a few hours, but they don’t fix the underlying problem. If your brain is wired to stay hyperactive at night, like mine, pills just act as a band-aid. Sure, they might get you to sleep, but they don’t address why your brain is struggling to wind down in the first place and they don’t produce real rest for the body or brain.

2. Melatonin Isn’t Always the Answer

Melatonin is often marketed as a natural, harmless sleep aid, but it’s not that simple. Our bodies already produce melatonin naturally, and taking it in supplement form can sometimes disrupt that natural rhythm, especially if taken for extended periods. For those of us with neurodivergent brains or genetic variants like COMT, this can actually throw off our internal balance even more.

3. Long-Term Use Can Lead to Dependency

One of the scariest things about relying on sleeping pills or supplements is the risk of dependency. The goal isn’t just to “knock out” for the night – it’s to create a sustainable, long-term approach to rest. That’s where understanding your body, your brain and your genetics comes into play.

4. The COMT Connection

For those of us with a COMT variant, it means that our brains don’t clear dopamine efficiently, leading to overstimulation – especially at night. A sleeping pill doesn’t address that overstimulation. Instead of relying on a pill, I’ve found that holistic solutions, combined with an understanding of my unique brain chemistry, have been key.

The Real Solution? Know Yourself

We can’t change our genes, but we can change how we respond to them. By understanding your unique genetic makeup, you can find natural, holistic ways to support your body and mind. Sleep becomes more than just a nightly battle – it becomes something your body naturally moves toward, once you’ve given it the right tools.

You deserve real rest – without masking the problem or relying on quick fixes. It all starts with knowing yourself and that’s where true healing begins.